Emerging Autistic Women

Transcript

Emerging Autistic Women

March 17^th, 2024

Segment 1

Welcome everyone to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by an Autistic Adult. My name is Philip King-Lowe. I am the owner, producer, and host; and I am an Autistic Adult. Thank you so very much for listening.

Today’s Autistic Moment is a member of The Autistic Podcasters Network.

Explore, Engage, Empower: Today’s Autistic Moment-The Podcast for Intersectional Autistic Adult Communities

This first segment of Today’s Autistic Moment is sponsored by The Autism Society of Minnesota, known as AuSM throughout Minnesota’s Autism community. As Minnesota’s First Autism Resource for more than 50 years, AuSM serves the whole state, the whole spectrum, for the whole life. Visit AuSM online at ausm.org. 

Thank you for joining me for Emerging Autistic Women. Nigel Rising, Esq. is my guest today.  

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If you are listening to this show and you were expecting me to talk with Michelle Markman about Autistic Pioneers: Unearthing the Female Architects of Discovery, and you heard me mention a different title and guest, you are correct.  Michelle Markman is unable to be here with us today because of illness.  We are all sending our love to Michelle to hope for her to feel better soon. Michelle Markman will be here at a later date for our conversation about Autistic women who have contributed to the history of Autism.

I started to become acquainted with Nigel Rising, Esq. on LinkedIn over the past few weeks.  Nigel is the founder of a new organization called Autistic Women Emerging.  Nigel is organizing an event called AutisticaPalooza.  A 2 ½ day family reunion for Autistic Women to celebrate community, strength, and resilience through their art and lived experiences.  The conference will have many speakers including some guests you have heard on Today’s Autistic Moment. 

Nigel is here to talk about creating the organization Autistic Women Emerging and the AutisticaPalooza conference.   After Nigel was diagnosed at the age of 52, she began reading about Autistic women like herself who were misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and/or borderline personality disorder.  Rigel’s search for understanding herself and other Autistic women led her to discover that Autistic Women are 13 times more likely to die by suicide.  Nigel created Autistic Women Emerging to address the two major deficiencies of the status-quo Autistic women see in themselves and how mental health professionals see Autistic women.  

Here is a quote from Nigel on the website about Autistic Women Emerging. 

“From my heart, I say this: Let not one more Autistic woman take her own life under the belief that she is no more than a “bad” person who is a burden to the people around her.”

Stay with us after this first commercial break to listen to Nigel Rising, Esq. and I talk about Autistic Women Emerging.

Commercial Break I

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Segment 2

Philip King-Lowe 

Nigel Rising, Esq. Thank you so much for being on this episode of Today's Autistic Moment. A brief explanation to my audience that Michelle Markman was not able to meet with me today due to an illness. So, Nigel here has been willing to step in, and, and do an interview about Emerging Autistic Women today. So, thank you so much for being here. I'm excited to have you on the show today.

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

My pleasure, Philip, happy to be here.

Philip King-Lowe 

Good. Well, I was quite intrigued by the title of your work called Emerging Autistic Women. And since I'm in Women's History Month, I am really excited to see a title like that, because we are talking through the month of March. Thank you. Sorry, folks. We are talking through the month of March about Autistic Women as part of Women's History Month. And there is so much about Autistic Women that we need to discuss. But here we're just going to talk about and what I love about this title is that I'm encouraged by the thought, that Autistic Women aren't really waiting around anymore for someone else to pick them up. A lot of us Autistic Adults nowadays, we're not wanting someone in society to come and pick us up, although that would be nice. A lot of us are now in the process by which we are beginning to recognize being Autistic as our own strengths. And we are beginning to raise ourselves up by finding other Autistics that we can network with. So, what a great what a great topic idea. Yeah, thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. Where can we begin to explore the Emerging Autistic Women, and how this affects our intersectional communities?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Well, the group, it's funny that you say that Autistic Women are no longer waiting around for other people to kind of sort of recognize where we're coming from. That's exactly how I felt. I attended an Autism conference last year. And I was disappointed with it. Because there were not a lot of Autistic. Well, there weren't any Autistic Women speaking. And though that was disappointing, I was encouraged to see that a lot of the attendees were actually Autistic Women. So, it was clear to me right away that Autistic Women are looking for a place to get information about themselves. And a lot of them are looking to get that information from other Autistic Women. And that's a little bit of where the Autistic Women Emerging came from. I actually went back home, spoke to a therapist, and expressed my disappointment at it. And she replied with, well, you know, five years ago, there weren't any Autistic people at any conferences at all. So, we've really come a long way. If you'll just wait a little bit longer. I'm sure that Autistic Women will start showing up at conferences. Well, I had just finished reading an article that said that the average life expectancy of an Autistic person was 54 years old, and seeing as I'm a few months short of that, I really wasn't wanting to wait any longer for other people to kind of pick up the, the mantle and take us forward. So, I had a crazy idea that I would throw a conference together and made 20 30 calls in December. Everyone said, yes, all of the speakers. So, I really think there is this sense that in the community of Autistic Women right now that 2024 is going to be our year for emerging. That is for, you know, showing the public who we really are. And part of that is looking at who's invited to Autism conferences to speak today. And they tend to be from the Anglo population, and they tend to be from the older population. So, what I wanted to do, being an Indigenous person myself, is to be sure that I asked speakers who represented the cultural and age diversity of the Autism population in the United States. So, I'm really pleased to be able to say that eight, nine out of 20 of our speakers are going to be coming from cultures, African American cultures, Latin cultures, I'm working very hard to have an Arabic family who has gone through their own Autism diagnosis journey coming up and represent themselves there on the podium. And all of our sessions that we have not yet determined if they're going to be video recorded. They will be audio recorded, and we're going to be having those transcripts interpreted into various languages. So, we really want to invite cultures from all across the world to participate in the conference.

Philip King-Lowe 

That sounds great. And tell us more about your conference, what's going to be going on there?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Well, the exciting thing about this conference first and foremost is that the people who are speaking are Actually Autistic Women. I have invited Autistic female community leaders from all over the United States, as well as Dr. Mary Doherty, from Great Britain, the head and founder of Autism Doctors International. And they're going to be coming together speaking on topics that are of interest to Autistic Women. And these are topics that you don't often see in Autism conferences, which themselves today are traditionally geared toward mental health professionals. The topics that we're going to be covering number one, topics that we can use to help us make our lives better right away. You don't get that from an Autism conference today. But we're going to be covering things like dating, things like how to have a what is a good day, but also ways on how to protect yourselves on a date. We're going to have a session on sex and not only traditional vanilla sex, but one way or smashing the stereotypes of Autistic Women. We'll also have a session on kink, A.J. Locashio will be presenting that session. We're also going to have a conference on how to you a session on how to use tech gadgets to make your life easier. We're going to have a session on how to ask for and get your ADA accommodations at work. We're going to have a Ludmila Praslova, PhD is coming out with the Canary Code. An Autistic organizational psychologist is going to do a session on choosing the right work for your brain. And many others. So, the key differences here is just about all of our speakers are Actually Autistic Women, many of them are highly credentialed. And number two, these people are going to be talking on topics that we can use to make our lives better, as opposed to what you might traditionally see, which would be doom and gloom statistics about what our future might look like for example.

Philip King-Lowe 

Yeah. And is this going to be in person or virtual or both?

Nigel Rising, Esq 

Right now, it is only going to be in person. My charity Autistic Women Emerging is literally just over two months old. And this conference is something that I put together as a reaction to the conference that I attended last year. So, and what that means is the charity itself doesn't have funding and the AutisticaPalooza itself doesn't have sponsorships yet. But we're now in a position where we're going to start looking for sponsorships. And our goal is to find a sponsor that will help us making it available via recording. At minimum what we're going to do is have audio recordings from which we will produce transcripts. And those transcripts are going to be reviewed by Autistic people who are fluent in their respective languages, which right now would include French, German, Indies, Spanish, Mandarin, and Arabic. So, what's important I feel is to get the information out. So, if for whatever reason we're unsuccessful in getting an international sponsor or national sponsor for visual recording, we definitely will have the information out there via transcript and in the top languages spoken in the world.

Philip King-Lowe 

Okay. Yeah, all that sounds extremely exciting. And, of course, Angela AJ Locashio is a guest and a partner within my network. As is Lisa Morgan, whom I understand is going to be speaking as well. And my audience definitely knows who Lisa Morgan is because she did two great shows last year. One about her Journey from Suicide to Autism Crisis Support. And then we did another show last September about Suicide Prevention for Autistic Adults. She is absolutely fabulous, and just has this incredible compassion for that particular topic. So, I'm glad to hear that you're going to have some really great guests there.

I've had my own guests, who had been part of Women's History Month. I've had about two years ago, Rose Carreio actually did my initial one about Adult Autistic Women in which she described that there's still this this horrible belief that there are no Autistic Women because of the misogynistic view that because women are caregivers, there's a certain way in which you're supposed to dress or look, whatever, whatever you know, being a being a mother, and so on, and so forth. All of these things have impacted how people see Autistic Women. We know that there is a problem in the sense that we know that a lot of women get misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. And actually, there's a lot of Autistics of other genders who unfortunately get that one too. We know that there are these stereotypes, these things that are invalidating and dismissive. How can we all begin to change those stereotypes? I mean, I agree with you actually, I have to tell say this very openly. I would say the majority of my guests on Today's Autistic Moment are Autistic Women. I have plenty of men on board and which that's no surprise. But I actually most of my guests are Autistic Women. And so, we know that this the stereotypes that have been put upon Autistic Women are simply not true. So, I mean, how can we I mean, when I talk, you've already spoken about that your conference is going to have many of these intersectional communities, which, for me, also includes other Neurodivergents. That be ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, any other form of Neurodivergence. So back to the question. How can we begin to just change these views, these stereotypes that keep coming up?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Yeah, I can identify with a lot of what you just said initially too with your question about situations where women are actually misdiagnosed initially with bipolar disorder. That was me. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and for over a decade took the standard medication that was prescribed for that. And I'm quite certain that had a great amount to do with the failure of my marriage. So, obviously a misdiagnosis is just more than, you know, a therapist saying I got it wrong. There are there are obvious, serious consequences to that that can ruin a person's life in more ways than one. So, I understand that background and many of the people I've invited to speak at my conference have also suffered such misdiagnosis another common one is a borderline personality disorder. I went through several months in my 20s, where I was sure that's what was wrong with me. Because like most women on the spectrum, I can honestly say, I always knew there was something different about me. So, I spent a lifetime trying to figure out what that was. And Autism did not come on my radar until my 30s. And there was nothing out there publicly that I could look up, which would have given me any indication that as a woman, I could also be Autistic. I was raised in that time, where the only people who had Autism or who the public saw as having Autism, were young, white, school aged males. So, it was never a thought. Now, I also come from a minority community. And for us, I have always been a big believer in the fastest way to convince someone that they can be something is by showing them someone who has already become that person in the form of an introduction or for physical appearance. I mean, to make it very simple. What I'm saying is, it is easy to say that anyone can be President of the United States. A great number of people, particularly minorities in the United States did not believe that until Barack Obama became President. So, before Barack Obama, you could tell a young person anybody can grow up to be president and that young president will look at that young person will look at the previous presidents and see nothing but Anglo males. But the truth came when someone like Barack Obama was elected President, and a young African American could look at that person and say, This person, an African American, just got elected. So that child went from zero to 100. In believing because he actually saw someone who looked like him become President. That's how we're going to change the way that Autism is perceived in the United States. I have produced a number of social media graphics in marketing, the AutisticaPalooza, but the one I am most proud of, is the one that came out on Thursday in which there were in that post the picture, as I mentioned earlier, of eight of our Autistic speakers, who represented young, old Ph.D. Anglo communities, Hispanic communities, African American communities. I'm very hopeful that we'll get an Arabic family to come. I would love and hear to hear their story by the graphic that I want to put their put out most often is that one because it shows people really, I think, more honest reflection of the diversity of the cultural war, the first cultural Autism Community of the United States. I think the more people see those women in that graphic, the more the faster that stereotype is going to break. I think what's important though, number one is, we can't keep a graphic like that with in the Autism Community. We as Autistic people looking at those posts, need to take that post and send it to our beloved's who are not Autistic. Because it's their perception that we need to change. So, what I see is that we keep the wonderful things about ourselves within our community. What we need to do to change the perception of ourselves within the wider community is share pictures like that. Pictures of the diversity of who we are.

Philip King-Lowe 

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, there's also the tremendous overlap with the LGBTQ communities. We know that a lot of Autistics are transgender, and of course gender nonbinary. So, it kind of goes all over this all over the place. Yeah, so yeah, I mean, it goes all over the place. You know, it's pardon me everybody. Rachel Cullen will be a guest on my show in April to talk about their Autistic Language Hypothesis, and how it relates to Autistic Culture for which I am I and others, we do believe there is an Autistic Culture and an Autistic Language. And Rachel is going to talk about how, what they are doing with that subject.

Following the next commercial break, Nigel and I will talk about some ideas for Autistics of all genders to use in their workplaces. And why we are getting the push back when we address the issues of Neurodiversity, gender, and race equity.

Commercial Break II

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Segment 3

Philip King-Lowe

How can we engage the Intersectional Autistic Adult communities to support Emerging Autistic Women? I mean, like I say, you've got them all over the intersection of communities, which I'm so glad to see. But how can we engage the wider Autistic Adult Communities to support this work?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

You know, I'm a big believer. First of all, I should say two things about myself, which I think goes a long way to explaining how I think and act. And that's first that I was raised by an army sergeant. So, he expected results, physical results. And whether that if he always said if it's not on paper, it didn't happen. And that's kind of what I think about when I think about how we can get other segments of the population to support Autistic Women Emerging. I see a lot of wonderful posts on LinkedIn, for example, that talk about make excellent points about how people should be treated in the workplace or in the home or in family. I think the best way to support Autistic Women is to take what we learn in two or three or 10 second posts and actually make a conscious effort to apply those things in our community. And in our work. An example of that is I read a post, or actually Ludmila Praslova had a post out where she was talking about emotional acceptance at work. You know, as an Autistic person, we often feel emotions either more strongly or less strongly than a neurotypical might. And it's one thing to see that in a post, and it's another thing to actually see it applied at work. Going back to my father, he wanted to see the real results. Maybe you read Lumila's post, and you find yourself in a conference room in a team meeting with a person who is Autistic or Neurodivergent in some other way. And she expresses a joy at a level that a neurotypical might perceive to be overboard. Well, that's that's a moment that happens every day in an Autistic woman's life where she's made fun of her having an inappropriate emotional reaction. What we need for support in terms of the Autistic population is not just to sit there and let that moment go by without addressing it. We need to not wait till after the meeting to address it later in private. The best way to address that is right there in that moment during the meeting. I think a lot of people are afraid to speak up in the moment. Many of our concerns as Autistic community can be advanced if our Autistic community and those of us who love us strengthen their muscle in terms of taking action in the moment. And not waiting till later not being supported at a later moment. I'm not saying not to do that. I'm saying it'll strengthen and quicken the movement for people if that were addressed in the moment. You know, I think we all need to get better at doing that. When you're one person in a meeting. And somebody says, “You're way too happy about these first quarter results. Tone it down.” When you're that one person in the meeting being told that that is embarrassing, and it takes a heck of a lot more strength to address it in the moment. But if you have a friend of an Autistic person there, say something like I think her reaction was appropriate to the situation. Let's give ourselves credit for this first quarter production. So, you want to you want you want to normalize that you want to accept it and you want to accept it in a way that is acceptable to the business community, as opposed to saying something like "Mary's Autistic just deal with it." No, you want to encourage and support her emotion in that moment in a way that's relevant to the meeting. I'm very much a hands on. Let's do it and out and show support in the moment.

Philip King-Lowe 

So, what you're saying is that to get engaged is also to encourage them to be their own best advocates. And let's remember that each Autistic individual is different. And so how they address that will be as different as they are. I mean, there are many ways to do that. It might mean that you can't respond at that particular moment. But you can also you can certainly journal about it if necessary, and then find some ways that, you know, think about some ways in which you might address it. Sometimes in a meeting, it can be very difficult to speak up, because the meeting has a particular agenda. And it's difficult to get people to focus on something like that. So, the point is taking some time, because we know that some comments like that can be very hurtful, you need some time to process that and just process your emotion perhaps. And then you can come back to it at another time, perhaps. It's not always easy to find advocates on your job, because everybody who works has some kind of agenda somewhere. It's very unfortunate, but it is part of the game, I'd have to say, you know, sometimes, yeah, it's amazing to me that, you know, when talking about the workplace, and I mean, this for all Autistic individuals, not just women, it's all of us. Finding advocates that will assist us, it's very difficult, because there's a lot of you know, this is a workplace mean, I mean, comments like, "this is a workplace, not a mental institution." "We are not here to encourage we are here to," to do whatever we're doing, whether that be production or whatever." It can be extremely mean. And so, yet, yeah, the advocate is constantly trying to speak up. And so yeah, it can be difficult to listen. So, that's why I think that we need that we need those moments when we need to pull back for a little bit, do some, do some self-care, some, you know, talking with other Autistic people, what do you think of this and that sort of thing? So, I think Nigel you would agree with me, sometimes we just have to do that.

Nigel Rising, Esq.

Oh. Absolutely. I mean, the reason I mean, I am one of those Autistic persons who, during certain situations, I will lose my ability to speak. And I am just learning that that is part of the way I handled things growing up. My father was a very intimidating Army sergeant. And so, there were often times where my brain would literally stop. And of course, that did transfer over into the corporate world where, where sometimes you are the one that's the target of whatever is being discussed. And there have been many, many times where I couldn't, my brain felt like it literally stopped. And, yeah, and those are the moments where it's really difficult. But what you just said, which is journaling about it, getting those emotions out, expressing yourself. Those are the things that you really have to do. And you really have to learn to strengthen the muscle in yourself to be able to walk away from those moments without thinking less of yourself. And that's definitely hard to do. I have been there. And it's very hard to do. Since some roles I've had an excellent advocate, others I have not. But yeah, that's something we definitely have to learn how to do I completely agree with you.

Nigel Rising, Esq.

So, I, many of the sessions at AutisticaPalooza are specifically geared toward how to help yourself at work. Whether it's ADA accommodations or choosing the right work for you are developing a support group or learning how to tell your coworkers that you're Autistic. How to speak to your manager. These are all things that can go a long way toward helping you feel more comfortable at work. And yes, how well we do at work is dependent, so much on our manager. What we need to do is learn how to strengthen our emotional muscle within so that we are able to prop ourselves up so that we can leave that situation knowing that we are not a bad person because we didn't produce something, or that we didn't come out of that meeting looking like, you know, a CEO.

Philip King-Lowe 

Yeah, yeah. All right. Um, question number three, of course, is now that we have explored Emerging Autistic Women, and we have talked about how we can get the Intersectional Autistic Adult Communities engaged. How can we empower them to become proactive to changing the landscape that is out there? You talked about some great stuff already. But, you know, it's one thing to get us engaged. Now, how do we empower it?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Well, you know, this is an interesting question for me. I have been spending a lot of time on LinkedIn. And I really like it because there are a lot of people on LinkedIn doing excellent work all across all across the board, in disability rights, in DEI rights, are programs at work. Neurodiversity programs at work. There are a lot of therapists doing good work for the community. What, what I want to see more of is this extending this idea of kindness, it seems like an oversimplification of what needs to be done. But I really don't think it is I think that as an autistic community, as activists for the disability movement, we are demanding and rightfully so that certain things change to be more adaptive and inclusive to us as a community. I think there are a lot of people out there also trying to do good work. Maybe sometimes they aren't going about it the right way. I think there are a lot of people out there who want to do the right thing. They simply don't know how to do that, or what the right thing is, and I fear sometimes that with the activism that's out there, the environment sometimes may go overboard, in that it gets too negative. For people who don't immediately know what the right way to respond is. I think we as a community, fighting for our rights and equal access, want to be kind to people who are trying to learn what we need, and not be so dismissive of people who are asking genuine questions, and heartfelt questions. In an attempt to understand what our issues are, I think sometimes attacks occur too early in a conversation with people who are earnestly trying to understand what's going on for us. So really, we need to understand that the message that we are communicating to other people needs to be put out there in a way that invites other people who don't understand that message, to ask questions about it. That's the way to empower people to create an environment where people feel like it's safe to ask questions about the issues. We want to take advantage of every opportunity to explain to people why we have an issue over this and not take offense. If there is a need for an explanation. Some folks are out there who earnestly don't understand. And it's our job to explain. You see that a lot in generational gaps. A lot of folks from the older generation, just have no idea what this nonbinary concept is. And the right way to go about handling a situation when somebody asks questions, is to explain it. The wrong way to go about handling questions from the older generation, for example, is to say, well, you should just get it. Just accept us, wherever you seeing non binary, just accept that angle is creating a foundation built on sand, and you'll see that at the next election. But if you ask your questions earnestly and give people an opportunity to ask questions in a safe environment, then you're giving yourself an opportunity where you're building a foundation of concrete and bricks, that's going to so yeah.

Philip King-Lowe 

I want to add my own comments here, because I've been doing a lot of thinking, especially with, we are now heavily engaged in a controversy about gender. And of course, we are heavily engaged in in conversations about our neurology, whatever those neurology’s has happened to be. And I want everybody to hear me that I am not defending them. I feel that it needs to be said what is happening for them. When we talk about gender, okay, this is something that is very foundational for people, especially our society, which is has two gendered system that that they've literally laid the foundation of their culture, their work they’re everything on. And for the longest time, we have understood that to be male and female. Now, along with that approach, is the fact that when we're talking about gender, which includes transgender, and gender nonbinary, what's happening for them, those who are especially are resisting is that those foundations for which they have built life upon built the world around, those foundations are now shaking, and we're now working on rebuilding those. The same thing I believe goes for the matter of Neurodiversity, for Autistics, ADHD, and other things. We have challenged sexual orientation. We are still challenging gender, gender, and race, of course. The issue remains is that we've talked about you know, there are organizations who have clearly stated that Autism Spectrum Disorder is in fact a disorder and therefore we are seen to the eyes of a pathology. In the last 10 or 15 years, the Neurodivergence community has come with the Neurodiversity Paradigm. And for that I'm especially talking about Dr. Nick Walker's paradigm. And these things are literally shaking the way people have understood how the brain functions. Now, what we're talking about doing with gender with race, and sexual orientation and Neurodiversity here is we are actually shaking those foundations again and making room for the rest of us to be part of those conversations. To be included in those communities where we have a place to be too, without anybody expecting us to change anything or, "get better" or whatever. We're asking people to do that. And that's where our greatest struggle is coming from. Once again, I don't agree with those who are who are resisting, I am simply saying that these are the issues, these are some of the issues that we're facing. And I want there to be a time when Autistics can work at a job without fear of being terminated, because our Autistic characteristics are there, and we're not masking anymore. And they're firmly accepted, because we know there are different brain types, sorry, and that sort of thing. And the same goes for gender. But at this moment where these conversations are taking place, what I'm saying this is why we're finding it very difficult to enter into and change some of those conversations. Part of empowering us to change these landscapes is for us to continue to say, "We are not going to be dominated by a pathology that describes us by a medical diagnosis only." And I agree with you that LinkedIn and this is one of the things that just amazes me about the Autistics on LinkedIn. They and we also are coming at it from whatever place we are in that conversation. And each of us who are part of my network, and the networks that I interact with, we come to the discussion from whatever our particular interests are. Remember, we have authors, we have podcasters, and not just myself. We have individuals who are creating organizations, or companies that are addressing Autistic needs, and racial needs and cultural needs on gender, and sexual orientation. We have people doing this from their very own perspectives. And it goes, I think it goes to saying that one of the how did I start Today's Autistic Moment? By presenting by presenting that I am passionate about Autistic Adults, okay? Autism is still understood to be a child's "disorder." And we know that over these last several years, many years now that that landscape has been changing. So, the point is, is to find something you are very passionate about, whether it be about Autistic women, whether it be about writing, talking, guesting, whatever it is. Find that something and put it to the use of helping to start changing the landscape, changing the thinking, and ultimately changing the culture. But it's all going to take each of us approaching the work of Neurodiversity, the Neurodiversity movement, to actually be part of that part of that movement. So that's my, that's my thing in this and feel free to respond to what I just said.

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Yeah, I absolutely agree. And I think that, I think what's, what's interesting about me, and my history relative to that is that I was diagnosed at age 52. So, you know, I'm the pre internet generation. And you take a person like me, who comes from the pre internet generation, and you put them on the same platform on LinkedIn as a person who's grown up with an internet with the internet all their lives and had social media all their lives. And we've simply grown up in a different culture, a different society, a certainly a different way of communication. And what I love about young people is that no matter who you are, every one of us has been a part of the youngest generation at one time or another, obviously, growing up. And older generation has always looked back at the younger generation and said, "Well, they're getting a little bit wild down there them young, get them young, young folks.” And every one of us when we were apart the younger generation looked at the older generation and said, You people sure are slow to understand what we're going through, why don't you get it? Well, I mean, those things are just part of society literally growing up. There's always that contention always has been, always will be, that's human nature. Where I think we need to take advantage of social media is, is finding a way to communicate radical ideas that the older generation things is, thinks of as radical, like nonbinary, or transgender, and really measure our words. Sometimes the slowest way is the fastest way. So, even if you have to take time to develop your, I want to say I want to use the word argument, but that's just because I'm a lawyer. But that will give the wrong intention.  You want to communicate things to the older generation, you've got it, you've got to be gentle, and you understand where people came from. And you've got to understand that it's not just older people wanting to be contentious with the younger generation, there are many older people who truly want to understand these new concepts. And they want to encourage the younger generation to advance concepts like this, because the reality is the younger generation and their ideas, always advances that human evolution in terms of our thought process. So, I would say to the younger generation, be more thoughtful, measured, and willing to explain and have the confidence that I would say maybe I'm an optimist, the older generation really does want to understand, there are folks who don't. And those are people that won't be convinced no matter who says anything to them. So, we're not concerned about them. But if you're a member of the younger generation, and someone like me asks you questions about what nonbinary is? Tell me. Because I'm asking sincerely, and I believe most people are. And that's, you know, that's the way that the younger people can empower a big wide community. For the older community. It's not that easy to change. No. It really isn't. That's not to say they don't want to that's simply to say, be gentle in your judgment. And use as many words as you can you want to build your argument on stone, not sand.

Philip King-Lowe 

Right. Yeah. And I concur with you about the part about getting older. I'm in my mid-50s. Now, and I haven't, I'm having some troubles, too, with.

Nigel Rising, Esq.

I am too. I mean, I come from South Texas. And it's interesting because I've moved to Colorado. In Texas, I would be considered a liberal. I understand that in Colorado, I would be considered a conservative. And coming here, part of learning about the Autism community, I've learned about the transgender community, the non-binary community, which are things that I literally did not hear about in Texas. And some people have judged me for not knowing right away with the right answer is, you know, you should say automatically you support these rights. Well, I'm a lawyer. Lawyers don't just automatically buy in. So, I always ask questions. And I, I find more often than not that, I get it. And I, I love it. The more explanation I hear about nonbinary and, and transgender. It's like, Oh, I get it. But I've got the kind of brain that's not going to just roll over and say, Yes, I want to understand. And I mean, just like anything else, just as if nonbinary, were a person. If you really want to love that person. You really want to love that idea. You've got to learn more about them and ask questions.

After this final commercial break, Nigel will talk more about what to look forward to at AutisticaPalooza. Coming up after that is Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board.

Commercial Break III

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Future Shows

Autism Acceptance Month will begin on April 7^th with a show about Autistic Culture & Language with Rachel Cullin. Autistics are discovering that we are part of a unique culture with our own language while we strive for acceptance that opens up possibilities that are not limited by the ableism of DSM criteria. Rachel Cullen is an Autistic, independent consultant and advocate in Brighton, England who has been researching their Autistic Language Hypothesis. Together with our intersectional communities, we will challenge stereotypes, promote acceptance, and ensure that Autistic voices are heard.

The second show in Autism Acceptance Month on April 21st will be An Autistic College Student’s Story. A student who is going to graduate from Minnesota Independence College & Community in May named Holt Mills will be my special guest. Holt will tell us about his chosen subject of study and what being educated in a college community that accepts him as an Autistic has prepared him for the career and challenges of his life going forward. Holt will also tell us what graduation means for him.

Check out the Future Shows page on todaysautisticmoment.com for all upcoming shows and guests.

If you would like to offer to be a guest, go to the Be My Guest page on todaysautisticmoment.com to fill out the Guest Intake Form.

If you have any topic suggestions, please go to the Contact Us page and submit your ideas.

Thank you for listening to Today’s Autistic Moment.

Segment 4

Philip King-Lowe 

Well, Nigel, I want to thank you for this. And I'd like us to talk a little bit more about the conference that you're having. When is it and where is it going to be? And are there any other matters like accommodations or travel needs or anything like that, that you can share with our audience?

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Yeah, so AutisticaPalooza, it's an event organized by an Autistic Woman. Which would, of course, be me. And I basically called the Autistic authors of the books in my living room that I gained a lot of insight from. They've all said yet, yes, that's over 20 Actually Autistic Women who are coming to speak at the conference. And they will be talking on issues that are important to importance to us. And what I mean when I say that of importance to us, I mean that we'll be discussing topics that we can actually use to make our lives better right away. A lot of us are great with our Autistic inertia. We're going to have a session on that. A lot of us. Once we start seeing a therapist, understand that we are suffering from PTSD, we're going to have a session on how PTSD and anxiety affect our Autistic mind. We're going to have a session on what's the difference between a mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist, and a life coach, which one of those would be good for us.

We have a session on how to identify your sensory triggers. When I was diagnosed and started reading about the things that were sensory triggers to me. I had no idea all my life, those were sensory triggers. I just thought that's the way that I was. And so, we're having Dr. Virginia Spielmann and Autistic, occupational therapists come and talk to us about that. We're going to have someone talk about Moms on the Spectrum. And not just moms of human children, but also moms of pets. As the Autistic community well knows, for many of us, for me, Kirby, my service animal, when I want to express my love for something, it's all curvy. And for many of us, our pets are our source of giving and receiving love. And part of this AutisticaPalooza, the newness of it is that I don't know that it's ever been done this way before, where it's Autistic Women talking to other Autistic Women about how to improve their lives. So many of these decisions about what's going on about AutisticaPalooza, are being made based on previous conferences, with the understanding that those conferences were for allistic people. And those conference were for mental health professionals to get CE credits. So, I'm also trying to make decisions with AutisticaPalooza that are unique to us. So, I don't want somebody to come to the conference and see statistics about how horrible their future might be, according to a research study conducted by allistic people and funding allistic people. I want a person to come to our conference and go to a session and hear about what actually Autistic Women have done to make successful careers for themselves. We're going to have that. And with this being, I'm not an organizer. I am a lawyer by training. And I am a compliance professional in the financial services industry by training. And so, in November, when I said to myself off and on my own conference. Since then, I have been learning about the community. And part of that learning has been about the accommodations that really, we need to have, which will be the basic things like accounting for service animals. Accounting for folks with auditory processing issues that may want to sit up front. Acquiring some ASL interpreters. So, there are a lot of things planned. And I also want to be forthright about, about everything this is I've never planned a conference. Like I said, I'm a lawyer. So, I anticipate that one or two things are gonna go south. But I would encourage everyone to focus on the fact that AutisticaPalooza is all about bringing Autistic Women together in the sense that it's a family reunion. You'll be around people who you don't have to explain yourself to people who lived your life every day. And that is key for us because lack of belonging is a top three reason as you probably heard from Lisa Morgan, that Autistic Women attempt to commit suicide. So that's why let's bring Autistic Women together. And let's give them the opportunity for to learn from other women, how to make their lives better. And I'm particularly proud of the fact that I've added a teen day in there because as many of us know that transition from middle school to high school when puberty hits and you're expected to magically know all these social rules, that's the most difficult time. Saturday will be a special teen day curriculum for the younger crowd. And we're going to have a career panel there for them with I'm just, I'm just so proud of this because if this when I was that age, teenagers who are Autistic, have a lot of doubt in fear about what their future is going to look like what they'll do as a career to be able to support themselves. Now what we're doing is I'm showing you here is an Autistic. Dr. Mary Doherty, from Autistic Doctors International. Here's a lawyer, it might be Haley Moss, it might be me. You can be an Autistic lawyer. We have Autistic therapists presenting, if you want to be therapist, you can be a therapist. We'll have a veterinarian. So many of the common careers that female teenagers aspire to, we will have an Autistic person there to be that visual confirmation that there is a way to get to where you want to be if your career is doctor, lawyer, a veterinarian, or even a trade or even a trade. So, the whole point of a career is not, let's make the most money and make as much money as the Joneses next door, the point whole point of a career is to be able to support yourself, and to be happy, whether that's a profession or a trade is up to you. And that's where I want to present people to these young teenagers who are successful at what they're doing so that they can see that they have a very positive future ahead of them, which will take work, more work than the average person in the community. But it is possible.

Philip King-Lowe 

Yeah. Well, that's just wonderful, because I am actually involved with the planning committee for the Autistic Community Summit that takes place every Fall with The Autism Society, Minnesota. And what we have found in planning that conference every year, that summit, is that, you know, they've made it for Autistics to come together in a planning committee and be part of the planning process, you know? And actually, my purpose for Today's Autistic Moment is for Autistic Adults. Because, you know, I sometimes get the question, why don't you know, why do I have mostly almost only Autistic guests? Because it's for the Autistic Adult Community. It's for us. Because I know, we don't really have a whole lot of representation out there. I also host my Autistic Voices Roundtable Discussions, and I do that because I get several, about six Autistic individuals to talk about a topic that is about us. My most recent one in February, was about Respect for Autistic Autonomy. And boy, was that a great conversation. Because, you know, I know for myself, on the committee, and in other situations, when we're given the opportunity to bring our gifts forward, bring what we have forward, we do, I'm gonna say we do one hell of a job at making things happen. That's just a fact.

Nigel Rising, Esq.

Yeah, Philip. And that gives me the opportunity to, to speak to what you said earlier about, you see a time in the future where Autistic people and other Neurodivergent people are respected in the workplace. And I'll take that a step further and to say, I see a time in the future where Autistic people are valued for the unique contributions that they can that they can make, in the manner that they bring services and products to the population. So, we think differently, that's a fact. And AutisticaPalooza is the first event of several that live in my head. Right now, one of those other ideas has started to come out meaning I've started to gather people around me who I think can help me put it back together. But that's going to be a conference that will feature Autistic corporate business owners and Autistic individuals who have led profitably products and services to public distribution. And our goal in terms of the audience for that upcoming conference is going to be CEOs. It's one thing to you don't have to sell Neurodivergent programs and they're leaders on what Autistic people can do. You've got to sell the CEOs and the corporate executives on what people can do. And that's what the next conference is living in my head, will do. So, I see a time where we are really, really valued for the unique way that we bring that we can bring profit to corporations.

Philip King-Lowe 

Absolutely. Absolutely. Nigel, I want to thank you so much for this. This is just a fantastic conversation. And I can't thank you or appreciate you enough. Where will the conference be held? And where will it be held?

Nigel Rising, Esq.

The conference will be held in Denver, Colorado, it's actually Lone Tree, which is right outside Denver, Colorado, at the Marriott Denver South. And there is public transportation from the international airport to the hotel itself. So, we've planned a lot of things that way, to hopefully be as easy as possible.

Philip King-Lowe 

Good, good. Once again, thank you so much for this. And I know, I know, I have really appreciated this conversation. And I do believe my audience is enjoying it as well. So, thank you so much Nigel and just for my audience. Next November, I am going to have a focus on the Autistic Indigenous experiences, and Nigel is going to come back and talk about that, and I can't wait for that to occur. And I am looking into another guest that I hope that I can get for that month. So once again, thank you so much in the Nigel. One more thing for my audience. The Emerging Autistic Women emerging web address is already on my Adult Autism Resources Links Page so you can look for that. And also, this conference AutisticaPalooza that is going to be included in Today's Autistic Community Bulletin Board, and it is already on the page. So, you can look forward to that.

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Yes. Recognizing that autisticwomenemerging.org is a really long website. They were also it's it mirrors, autisticapalooza.com. So, either one will get you to the information you need to know.

Philip King-Lowe 

Great. That's wonderful. Thanks again, Nigel. And we hope to see you soon.

Nigel Rising, Esq. 

Sounds great. I'll see you in November. Bye bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board

All of these events with their links can be found at todaysautisticmoment.com/bulletinboard.

Go to autisticwomenemerging.org to read about the AutisticaPalooza conference that will be held on October 18-20^th, 2024 at the Marriott Denver South in Denver, Colorado.  Tickets will go on sale on April 2^nd, 2024.

Join The Autism Society of Minnesota for their Adult Coffee Club. The next Coffee Clubs will be on Tuesday nights from 5pm to 7pm at Dogwood Coffee in St. Paul on April 2^nd, May 7^th, and June 4^th. Please RSVP at ausm.org.

Understanding Autism virtual classes will be offered by The Autism Society of Minnesota. These classes are perfect for Autistic individuals, caregivers, those who want to understand the basics of Autism and support Autistic people. The next class will be on April 8^th from 10am to 12pm.  Classes are free of charge, but you must register to attend.

Join The Autism Society of Minnesota and MNeurodivergent at the Lionsgate Academy located at 599 Cardigan Road in Shoreview Minnesota on March 19^th beginning at 7-8:30pm to have some fun with Speed Friending for Teens.

Register today and attend the Minnesota Autism Conference to be held on April 17^th through the 19^th at the Hilton Doubletree Hotel located at 2020 American Blvd. E. in Bloomington, Minnesota. Keynote speakers this year will be Dr. Paula Kluth, Dr. Devon Price, and Joyner Emerick.

Steps for Autism will be on Sunday, May 19^th from 9am to 12pm at ROC at the St. Louis Park Rec Center located at 3700 Monterey Drive in St. Louis Park, Minnesota.  All of the funds raised at this event stay in Minnesota for the Autism Community. 

Go to ausm.org to get more information about these and other social and educational events, including your opportunity to enter the lottery for AuSM’s Summer Camps by March 22^nd at The Autism Society of

Minnesota.

There will be a Relaxed Family Concert: Here, There, Everywhere” at the Minnesota Orchestra Hall located at 1111 Nicolet Mall in Minneapolis on Sunday, April 7^th beginning at 2:pm to 3:30pm.  This relaxed family concert is for all ages made accessible for Autistics and their sensory needs.  Go to the website calendar.mnaccess.org for more information.

Attend a Sensory Friendly Sunday at the Walker Arts Center located at 725 Vineland Place in Minneapolis on April 14^th from 8:00am to 11:00am. Go to the Calendar page on walkerart.org for more information.

Attend a Sensory Friendly Saturday on April 20^th from 8:00am to 12:00pm at the Bell Museum of the University of Minnesota located at 2088 Larpenter Avenue West in St. Paul, Minnesota. Go to the Events page www.bellmuseum.umn.edu for more information.

MNeurodivergent is a social club rooted in a vision of bringing Neurodivergent Minnesotans together to build meaningful connections.  Its core principle is to foster an environment where all are treated with dignity and respect regardless of ability or preferences. Go to the bulletin board at todaysautisticmoment.com and click on the Meet Up link to become a member and attend their events.

Today’s Autistic Moment is here because of the generosity of supporters and sponsors.  Please join the supporters by clicking on Support Today’s Autistic Moment on todaysautisticmoment.com.

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Thank you for listening to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by An Autistic Adult.

May you have an Autistically Amazing day.