Self-Care During an Election Year

Self-Care During an Election Year

 

August 22, 2022

 

 

Here you can read my opening remarks, announcements, future shows & Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board

 

 

Welcome everyone to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by An Autistic Adult.  My name is Philip King-Lowe. I am the owner, producer, and host, and I am an Autistic Adult. Thank you so very much for listening.

 

Today’s Autistic Moment is a member of the National Podcast Association.

 

Today’s Autistic Moment is always a free to listen to podcast that gives Autistic Adults access to important information, helps us learn about our barriers to discover the strengths and tools we already have to use for the work of self-advocacy.

 

This first segment of Today’s Autistic Moment is sponsored by The Autism Society of Minnesota: Minnesota’s First Autism Resource.  For over 50 years, The Autism Society of Minnesota has been honored to support Minnesota’s Autism Community.  Visit them online at ausm.org.

 

Please go to the New Podcast Episodes Page of todaysautisticmoment.com where you will find all the shows and download the Program Scripts with all of the hyperlinks I mention on each show and the Interview Transcripts including the transcripts for this episode.  Interview Transcripts for 2022 are sponsored by Minnesota Independence College & Community.  If you want to listen to any previously published shows, and see the program scripts and interview transcripts go to the Episode Index Page. 

 

Also, be sure to follow Today’s Autistic Moment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Tik Tok.  Please join Today’s Autistic Moment Community Group page on Facebook, where you can talk with me and other listeners.  You can find the videos from the most recent Autistic Voices Roundtable Discussions Stop the Shock & The Dangers of Medical Myths by subscribing to Today’s Autistic Moment’s YouTube channel.

 

The next Autistic Voices Roundtable Discussion will be on October 19^th at 2:00pm Central Standard Time entitled: Busting the Myth About Empathy.  Another myth about Autistic people is that we lack empathy.  Each Autistic person has our own unique way of experiencing and expressing empathy.  In fact, a lot of Autistics have what we call double empathy.  I am seeking Autistic individuals to join me and other panelists during this live virtual discussion as we bust the myth about Autistics having no empathy.  Please send me an email if you want to participate. 

 

This episode completes the Summer of Self-Care Series for 2022.  My guests Becca Lory Hector, Zephyr James and I have been talking together about some key areas where Autistics need to be taking care of ourselves. Self-care during seasonal depression, sensory overload/meltdown and during a crisis were topics that are common to many Autistic Adults.  The topic for this installment is just as relevant for our personal and mental health.

 

Over the past three to four years, the politics in the United States has become more polarized.  There has been a rapid increase of violent rhetoric, hate crimes and decisions that affect everyone’s lives.  When it comes to Autism and other disabilities, there is always something more important than addressing ableism for politicians and political parties to focus their money and energy on.  Equal rights protections for all groups of people are usually a part of debates and campaigns, but when it comes to actual action and change, many efforts to move forward are stalled by lobbying groups paying a lot of money to interfere with progress.  Even if laws are passed, they can always be overturned; like what happened with Roe v. Wade.  Ideally, our elections process is supposed to work to change all of that. The end result is usually about the same.  No one really wins.

 

Two years ago, during the year 2020, we were dealing with everyone being quarantined because of COVID-19.  We were hearing bad news on top of bad news every single day.  Our elections process was in shambles and out of control.  I know there are a lot of other Autistic Adults out there besides myself, who get so overwhelmed by what happens during an election year. 

 

Becca Lory Hector and I are here today to talk about how to set good boundaries for ourselves so that we can sift through what things are important for us to take care of ourselves during this time of election chaos.  We invite you to listen in on our talk about how we can take control of what we take in, how we make decisions about what we want to do, can do and/or cannot do.  Our suggestions include remembering that we are Autistic Adults who can make decisions for ourselves, even when others are infantilizing us. Autistic Adults can and should decide to communicate an emphatic no to others who want to condescend and manipulate us, by putting our Autistic needs before their agendas.  We want our conversation to empower you as an individual Autistic Adult to look after yourselves and other Autistic Adults through the many strengths we have.

 

Please stay tuned after this first commercial break when Becca Lory Hector and I will share some ideas for Self-Care During an Election Year. 

Support Today’s Autistic Moment

 

The list of new shows for the Fall with topics, guests and descriptions are available at todaysautisticmoment.com/podcast-episodes/podcast-episodes.  Some of the topics will be Autistics Collaborating with Autistics. Online Dating.  October will be focused on Autistics and ADHD. Autistic Parents.  Autistic Adults are Adults Not Children. Managing Holiday Stress and Communicating with Autistics.  I am in the process of planning for season 3 in 2023 with a focus on the strengths and achievements of Autistic Adults to highlighting what we can accomplish.

 

Today’s Autistic Moment is successful because of the sponsors and those who donate to my Patreon page.  Your financial support for this podcast enables me reach out to other Autistic Adults and our caregivers on and off the show to network and collaborate.  Please go to todaysautisticmoment.com and click on the blue button to support the work of Today’s Autistic Moment.

 

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Are you Autistic and the owner and/or host for a podcast that is by and for Autistics?  If so, I have a very exciting networking opportunity for you. I am cordially inviting you to attend a live virtual initial meeting to talk about the creation of the International Autistic Podcasters Association on Thursday, March 16^th, 2023 at 11:00am-12:30pm Central Standard Time. During this meeting we can talk about what we might like an International Autistic Podcasters Association to look like and what we could do. The association members can share with each other what our podcasts are about, what is working well, what might need improvements and promote ourselves and each other to attract more listeners. The meeting will be recorded with a transcript and made available on Today’s Autistic Moment’s YouTube channel.  To read more about the meeting go to todaysautisticmoment.com/apa/.  Please share the news and link with any Autistic person you know who owns and/or hosts a podcast for other Autistic people. If you have any questions or concerns, send an email to PKLowe@todaysautisticmoment.com.

 

 

 

 

Future Shows

 

 

The Fall shows begin on September 5^th with Zephyr James coming back to invite you into a fantastic conversation about Autistics Collaborating with Autistics.  Over the past four years The Autism Society of Minnesota has been organizing the annual Autistic Community Summit. This year’s summit will be on September 17^th.  It is always a wonderful time as Autistics come together to collaborate and support each other.  Zephyr and I will share with you the exciting results we have been seeing when Autistics Collaborate with Autistics. 

 

On September 19^th, don’t miss my conversation with Candice Christiansen about Online Dating: What Autistics Need to Know.  The convenience of the internet might seem like a great way to find that perfect person to date.  However, many Autistics find it difficult not to fall into certain social traps that can include but not be limited to dating someone who is abusive, and/or finding someone who does not respect our boundaries, or just rejects us.  Come hear Candice’s important advice to help you stay safe when you use apps for online dating.

 

In October, Today’s Autistic Moment will be recognizing ADHD Awareness Month.  There are many Autistics who also have Attention Deficit Disorder and/or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.  On October 3^rd, Tas Kronby will be my guest to talk about Autistics with ADHD.  On October 17^th, I will be joined by Peter Wharmby who is an outstanding Autistic journalist and advocate in the UK for the episode The Intersection of Autism & ADHD. 

 

Thank you for listening to Today’s Autistic Moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board

 

All of these events announced with the links can be found at todaysautisticmoment.com/bulletinboard/.

 

Ultranauts Inc invites you to a virtual insightful panel discussion on Wednesday, August 24^th at 12:00pm Eastern Standard Time entitled Neurodiversity and the Workplace: Organizational Dos and Don’ts.  Join the speakers Haley Moss, Phillip E. Wagner, Samuel J. Levine and Rajesh Anandan as they discuss creating inclusive, equitable and accessible workplace environments. To register go to todaysautisticmoment.com/bulletinboard/ and click on Ultranauts Neurodiversity and the Workplace Panel Discussion.

 

You are invited to MICC’s 5^th Annual Independence 5k Run/Walk on Saturday, October 1^st at Donaldson Park in Richfield, Minnesota.  Check in/Registration is at 9:00am. The Race begins at 10:00am. Go to miccommunity.org.

 

Understanding Autism virtual classes will be offered by The Autism Society of Minnesota. These classes are perfect for Autistic individuals, caregivers those who want to understand the basics of Autism and support Autistic people.  Classes will be held on September 19^th from 2pm to 4pm. October 17^th from 6pm to 8pm. November 21^st from 10am to 12pm. December 19 from 2pm to 4pm. Classes are free of charge, but you must register to attend.

 

Registration is now open to attend the Fall virtual classes for The Autism Direct Support Certification at The Autism Society of Minnesota. Classes will be held on September 9^th, 16^th, 23^rd, 30^th and October 7^th. Scholarships to attend are available, but you must register to attend. 

 

Registration is now open to attend the 5^th Annual Autistic Community Summit on Saturday, September 17^th at the Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.

 

Go to ausm.org for more information about these and other events at The Autism Society of Minnesota.

 

 

If you have events for Autistic Adults and our supporters and would like them announced in Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board on the next episode on September 5^th, please send them to PKLowe@todaysautisticmoment.com by 4:30pm on Friday, September 2nd. 

 

Today’s Autistic Moment is sponsored in part by Looking Forward Life Coaching.  Looking Forward turns stumbling blocks into stepping stones towards success.  Go to lookingforwardlc.org for more information.

 

If you have a topic that you think will be a great contribution to talk about the strengths and achievements of Autistic Adults and/or want to be a guest in season 3 in 2023; want your business or organization mentioned or have questions about Today’s Autistic Moment please send an email to PKLowe@todaysautisticmoment.com.

 

Thank you for listening to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by An Autistic Adult.

 

May you have an Autistically Amazing day.

Interview Transcript

Interview Transcrip is my interview with my guests.  Interview Transcripts are sponsored by Minnesota Independence College and Community. Visit miccommunity.org. If you are looking for my opening remarks, announcements, future shows and Today's Autistic Community Bulletin Board, please download the Program Script.

Philip King-Lowe  
Becca, welcome back. And I just want to say a huge thank you for all that you've been doing this Summer with this Summer of Self-Care Series. The shows that we've done together have been so well received. So welcome back.

Becca Lory Hector  
Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, definitely. Well, the last topic, and I picked this because we're in the middle of an election year. And I chose this input specifically, because I remember two years ago, when the middle of 20, the 2020 elections, which was probably I'll speak for myself the most stressful election year I've ever seen. You know, and the thing is, I get a feeling that I'm not the only one, we get email after email, ad after ad. We are getting TV messages, social media and messages. We're getting all of this stuff thrown at us from all sides. And before I continue with this, I just want to reassure my audience here. If you go to my todaysautisticmoment.com/podcast-episodes/dosdonts/ I specifically say I don't discuss on the show, or in email communications, politics, political parties, politicians or participate in political debates. We are not, we just want to be very clear, we are not endorsing any political parties here. We are not here to encourage you who to vote for, we're just here to talk about how stressful an election year can be on us, Autistics for the various reasons that they are. So you know, we need to talk about this self-care, because boy, like I said, two years ago, I felt like I was at the, at the pinnacle of stress, it just was too much. And so once again, I want to give our, our audience, especially those who are Autistic, some good tips for taking care of yourself to being careful of overload and all of the stress that comes right at you. So let's talk about this topic. I think my audience is going to appreciate it. So let's talk about what important information do Autistic Adults and our caregivers need to know about when we speak about self-care during an election year?

Becca Lory Hector  
For me, I would say it really comes down to input. And I say that and I choose that word, because it's very clear, it definitely means something that you have control over. Right? So input and what you allow into your brain, what you allow into your physical space, right? Any of those things, right? is in your control whether you say yes, that can be on my Facebook feed, or No, I don't watch that on TV or, you know, yes, I listen to that podcast, right? Your choices about input. And what happens to us in an election year is that we are inundated with information, right? It's not a little bit of information about politics. It's a lot of information, right? Politics, right? Yeah. And if you're not someone who's politically inclined, if you're not someone who is that follows politics very closely, right? You know, it can be stressful because you don't know enough, right about what's going on out there. And everyone's talking about it. Right? The other you can be someone around politics is a special interest. And it's all you want to do is engage in and this political years agree here for you because there's never ending fodder to talk about right? So it creates a different way to have, you know, overload in your input, right? There's too much, right? And so what we need to think about is a balance in our input. And what that means is going to be different for all of us. I personally, haven't been involved in politics in a very long time. I'm really disappointed with the way that our political system runs and so I'm not somebody who follows it closely. Part of it is that it makes me feel unempowered as a human being like, I don't feel as though the things that I'm doing or reading about or whatever, don't make me feel better as a person. It doesn't make me feel like I'm in control in my life rather than decisions, I make matter. And it feels very frustrating from that perspective. Also, there are a lot of things that I do like to talk about with people whom I may not agree with on a topic or politics, right? But that doesn't mean that I can't engage with them on some other topic, right? And so it's about deciding how much of that you want in your life, and then deciding where that information is going to come from. And I think, the next level of this conversation, where which input do I choose, because then the next choice, right, if you're not careful, you could be watching and listening to things that are very one sided. And I'm not hearing the other side of things, right? Depending on where you get your news from. So making those decisions about this is the news channel that I will follow. This is the one that I'll follow a little less, but check in on or whatever, right? Or deciding, you know, this year, I'm having a great mental health year, I don't think I'm going to participate at all. Right? All of those are valid ways. But that's about taking control of the input that you will have control over, which is all right. Yeah. And I always say it begins there. Because if you're not, from the get go, being aware of what you're taking in, it's very easy to get caught up in and think that that's all that's going on in the world, right? Especially if you live here in America, we tend to get very American centric news here. And so we were taken by our elections, and we'll have no idea what's going on in the rest of the world.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. A couple years ago, I read a great book about compassion. And it made the the authors there made a great, great points in the book, that has a lot to do with what's happening, what happens during election year. And they pointed out that the media is often bombarding our senses. They're just on them, on them, on them all the time with a news flow that comes in. Okay. And, you know, speaking for myself, and others who who are in the ages, where we remember that the only place you got news from was a newspaper, radio, television, maybe a magazine, and that was all. The internet, which is something we all love, and we're grateful that it's out there. It's also increased the capacity of how much information and how quickly that information flows. So one of the things we want to stress here, if you don't want to follow something, that is okay. It's okay to say no, I'm not following that. Includes a Facebook page, Twitter page, whatever it happens, your friends

Becca Lory Hector  
also. Yes, right. There are people in our lives, family members, sometimes that can be overwhelming to us in an election year. Right? And so feel okay, taking that space, if you need that space, most people do.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yep. Including putting sometimes putting your headphones on, it's a good way of letting them know. No, you know, just put your headphones on. That's okay. Yeah, it is absolutely okay to turn things off. Because in my description of the show, I said, you know, one of the things that happens is that you're already bombarded, and then you got people around you expressing their opinions, and it's not helping, because you're already even after you told them, I am already tired can we please not go here anymore? Quite frankly, part of your self-care it needs to be when you say you have a right to hold your boundaries. And so, I mean, I think we need to say that very clearly. You can set your boundaries, and you can you have every right to insist on them. And if they're not going to respect them, you have to you can choose to reinforce your boundaries for you. Go ahead.

Becca Lory Hector  
Right. Like your boundaries boundaries are self-care, so and they get a very bad name. Because human beings don't like to be told no. So your bet when you set a boundary on something, you're basically saying, No, that's not okay with me. Right? And the other person has to hear no from you, that's what a boundary is doing. And they're not happy about that. And because so many of us want to be people pleasers. We don't like making other people unhappy, right? Right, right? Boundaries. If we don't have our boundaries there, then we who's protecting us? Right. And who's taking care of our space? So when you set a boundary, I think it's perfectly okay to set it and be very clear and say, Listen, I this year not feeling great up here. I'm not talking about politics this year. Thanks. Can we talk about something else? I mean, you can be that direct about your boundary if you need to be. And if people aren't respecting that space for you. Its a good ole clue, that that's somebody you might not want in your circle so much, right? Anybody who doesn't respect your boundaries, there's basically saying there needs to come before yours. Right, right? So that's what you're really hearing when you put down a boundary is that that person doesn't like that, you're not going to help them with what it was they wanted help with. Or you're not going to engage in the way that they engage.

Philip King-Lowe  
Oh, yeah. You know, I've kind of come to a conclusion for myself, maybe others, other Autistics have found this, if you're finding it difficult to respect other people's boundaries, and/or have difficulty with others not respecting yours. The more you build up your own healthy boundaries, the easier it will, could be. I'm sorry, I don't mean to generalize, because I know we're all different. But the easier it could be to help you manage what's going on with someone else's boundaries, you have the right to set your boundaries. And you have and the thing is, is that part of the problem is, is that with boundaries, they can't cross them without your permission. And sometimes we give that permission without actually saying, you can cross my boundary. Right And when when we're talking about an election year, like I say, where everything is coming, you know, 110 miles an hour. And you know,

Becca Lory Hector  
And its so competative, right? Yes, same information over and over again. And as something I want to talk about, too, is that you mentioned is sort of how for some of us write the news came from very particular places. And that's it and news was respected. Right? The information that came out in the news was respected. And what happened with the internet is there became a need to have immediate information all the time for people need to do that we often get misinformation before we get the correct information. Right? That's right, yeah, partial stories, or pieces of partial facts and parts of stories and that kind of stuff, until the entire story sort of really comes to light. And what that means is a lot of mass in our brains, trying to keep it all straight, right? While all that's happening, and there's some people that will tell you that some political strategy is to overwhelm us, right? Or to repeat things to the point where we're saying it ourselves or whatever. And so we need to think about how much we're allowing the political quote, unquote, marketing, right, that's going on influence our the news that we're getting or influence the other things, right? Yeah. You know, it's just as much of a marketing game and a business plan as it is a political campaign. Right? So you have to remember that we're, you know, you're paying their bills when you you know, give them money, or you are following and so is it someplace you really want to be doing it? Or are you being, like marketing bullied into doing, right? Which is how I feel a lot of the time, you're just so bombarded with emails and commercial than sponsored ads, and this and that, right? So being clear about how much of it you want to care about, and to what extent, right, this is really important in an election year, that's, that is the spoon management we have to do is like, maybe checking in on the election once a week is good enough for me, or maybe once every two weeks is good enough for me, right? Nothing happens that fast, except for a bunch of gossip in between there. So if you are interested in that. And some people are, and this can be a great year for you, but beware of overwhelm zone, right? It's really easy to hyper focus in it because there's special interest, right? And let all the other things go. Like how we treat our friends taking care of our personal hygiene, right and making sure we meal plan all of the other things our spoons are supposed to go to. Yeah, that's just as important. Right and not overdoing it.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, yeah. And one other message before we get into barriers, which were already crossing into, but the other matter that I think we have to say, honestly, a lot of political ads are fear based. They're based on making you afraid of what the other politician is doing. And they and actually, there's another way of saying that they're basically unsettling your sense of security, basically. And that's one of those things that I'm sure many of us Autistics that's what we feel so overwhelmed by. There's this informational overload, I like to call it informational overload coming in. And then there's all this fear based adding and everything. It's it's very difficult.

Becca Lory Hector  
And having to sift through that right? And just decide, what is the real stuff in here? Is exhausting, right? And that, and this is well, we'll get there. There's things other things about it Autistic people are specifically uncomfortable. There's a lot of lying and stuff that goes on during this year and a lot of false information. And I think that was also part of our discomfort. 

Commercial Break

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. Well, now, I want to talk a little bit more about what are our boundary of sorry, what are our barriers, and we're naming quite a few of them. And our sensory processing is not really the negative that it often gets marked as to act you are, sometimes in situations like this, our sensory processing is telling us all the right things. It's just that. And this is where I think one of the barriers is because of how society looks upon Autistic people as having a problem, a bunch of problems. I think, I think sometimes we allow ourselves to second guess, our sensory processing. And so this is one of those things that I think is a real barrier. So I can answer that, please.

Becca Lory Hector  
That's really a part of, I think the stigma and bias against Autistic people and Autistic brains out there, right? It's what I call like I when I coach or when I'm working with someone when I want to teach people about reconnecting with your gut, and I call it trust your gut, your calling, it sounds very, like paying attention to our sensory overwhelmed, right? It's the same thing. That your body is giving you signals all the time about whether things are good or bad for you. And over the course of our lives Autistic, or Autistics are told repeatedly that the way we naturally experience things, the way that we feel about things naturally and instinctually is wrong. That's what we're told. We're told no, that's not how you're supposed to. That's why do you why do you think that's fun? We get that, right? That's not fun. That's not what fun looks like. And yet for us, it is joy, right? As we're growing, right, we're constantly invalidated about our experiences that we're having by and yeah, you get invalidated. And that way you stop trusting yourself. Right? Like, well, whatever, I'm thinking, I'm going to do the opposite. Because I'm always wrong. Right? And when that becomes your thinking, right? Its really easy to say to yourself, Yeah, I feel my body doing all that. But you know, it does it all the time. It's not saying I'm supposed to ignore it. Yeah. And that's learned to do especially those of us who were late diagnosed, right? In adulthood, we have a lot of times learning to mask and hiding our feelings and what we need and our needs right? That comes into play here. We are swayed one way or another by that stuff.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. I think one of our barriers is also a social presumption of incompetence. We get this more times and should be legal, quite frankly, you know, but there is a presumption on some people that because that suggests that we're not able to filter our own information we receive, so they have to be telling us what they think. Right is in order to, you know what, and quite frankly, a lot of that is gaslighting. But the thing is, is

Becca Lory Hector  
But that is how a lot of opinions get imposed upon us. Right? Exactly. And it's just assumed, well, you're right, like when you were a kid, it was just assumed whatever your family's political notions or right were assumed to be yours. And much like that, when people find out that you're Autistic, they assume that they need to tell you how to think about politics, exactly need to tell you how to interpret this information that you're somehow incapable, and a word we use all the time to describe that as infantilization. Right? Yes, the minute we we tell people we're Autistic, they imagine that we're children, and that we now need to speak louder and slower to us and explain the big words, right? And tell us you know, how the Senate works. Well, guess what, we all kind of can figure that out. And if we're interested in politics, we've probably read more about it than you have. So that's, you know, that's the joke of it in the end, but the minute that word Autism or Neurodiverse comes out of your mouth. There is that unconscious bias of the other person. Right? Yeah, it goes into our politics. And again, this is where I say boundaries. Right? Absolutely. No thank you to your you know, I appreciate your wanting to help me, but I'm an adult, right? Um, thank you. It's another red flag about whether this person or someone you want to have in your life period. 

Philip King-Lowe  
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I know, it's hard because many of us feel so isolated. But quite frankly, you are. You are free to decide where your boundaries are, as well as the people you associate with. You do have that right. And yeah, I think I think all too often, like, once again, I like how you're talking about infantilization. And by the way, I'm going to have a show in November.

Becca Lory Hector  
Like I knew that was coming. LOL

Philip King-Lowe  
Robert A. Claus III, he's gonna come and talk about infantilization. But you're right. They assume that because we are Autistic, we must be talked down to we must be condescended. And basically, they make the presumption that our opinions, whatever they are, they're not completely informed. So they feel like they have to fill in the gaps.

Becca Lory Hector  
They have to educate us. Yeah. Yeah. And that's part of this discomfort in the election year, too, right? Like he's, there's no safe space away from it. And so creating those safe spaces becomes important, creating places in your life where you can take breaks right? Yeah. If you're a video game person, knowing that you need time, like disconnected from your phone and not watching the news, from that input, to just go sit and play video games and like ground, or go for a walk in nature, if that's your thing, or go for a swim at the beach, whatever your thing is, right? To just ground yourself to remember that just because that election is going on doesn't mean the rest of the world has to stop.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I'm gonna say this, because this is something about myself, and there are most likely other Autistics who may also do this. I have been very much involved in a lot of politics in my local area, because of our work for LGBTQ equality, and that sort of thing. So yes, I've been very involved in that sort of thing. And I'm glad that we did what we did. In fact, 10 years ago, this year, the state of Minnesota had same sex marriage ban, that was going to be added to our Constitution. And Minnesota was was one of if not the first to actually vote no on something like that. We did it successfully. But it was a lot of work to do it. And over time, this is one of those things that this is again, my opinion, no one is required to agree or disagree. But one thing I've learned over the years. As far as I'm concerned, the worst possible thing that has happened to American electoral politics is the commentary news media. Because because they're all coming at you from a particular party's point of view. And when we absorbed that information, it's once again, we don't, it's hard to not take that seriously. And we wind up forming our opinions based on it. It may be helpful, but I also feel it's part of what overwhelms us, quite frankly, you know? Well, question three, of course, is what steps do Autistic Adults and our supporters need to take to advocate for our needs? And here we find those tools, and I'm going to name it, you know, we have an incredible tool in how much we can focus on something we're doing. So one of my suggestions is that instead of thinking about you're focusing, focus on something that relaxes you something you enjoy, and use it to block out the things that you don't need to be paying attention to that, you know, that are overwhelming you. That's I would say this is one of those ways that you can use what again, what society tends to say is something that's "weird." Use it to your advantage. And by all means, use those Autistic strengths to our advantage. That's my first suggestion. Now we'll let you go on with a few more.

Becca Lory Hector  
Sure. So I definitely think you know, I talked about one really early on, which is controlling your input, and deciding where you're getting your information from how much of your time you want to give to it, and being really clear about those boundaries for yourself, so that you don't end up being depleted and exhausted or overwhelmed. Because you haven't carefully managed just who it is right, it's really easy to lose track of them in this, right, I want to say the other word, I want to use his balance, that is a word that I think is really important for very black and white brains. Right? There's this idea that in between being on and off, there's some gray area in there. And so because that's true, it's okay to do some politics and some whatever. But knowing your limits with that are important. Knowing, you know, maybe I don't mind engaging with two or three close friends about it. But I don't feel like going to a bar and talking to the entire bar about politics. Knowing what environments work for you and all of that, because it can also be a source of really engaging conversation for a lot of people. So just understanding that whether the election year is giving you good overwhelm, or bad overwhelm right quote on quote, that it's still a matter of balance. It's about making sure that while you're involved in that hyper focus, either avoiding it or getting involved in it, right? that you're doing other things as well, that you're attuned to other parts of your humaneness right? That you're spending time with pets, you still have your energy to do that your energy to do any exercise you're eating and meal plans or sleeping, right? Stuff like that. Knowing that things when we're putting input in here, it affects those things, some of us get anxious and we can't sleep or we can't eat properly. And we go too long, we're not doing those things, it will start to cause bigger problems in our lives as a whole. Being clear about you know, how much of it is, you know, we let in because there's only a certain a lot of it is marketing and a marketing campaign there's a lot of untruth. Right? Yeah. marketing campaign. So a good chunk of what you're gonna spend your time doing is weeding through the garbage, right. has to come into your decision making as well.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, I also want to kind of talk, we all know that when once we get into, especially the late month of October, I'm sorry, late month, September and October. The TV commercials are coming at us extra fast, extra, a lot more. Okay? So here's a couple of my suggestions. Number one. Every now and then log out of your social medias, just log out of them, turn them off, okay? Do something. Go do something, do something else, but log off of them. I remember in 2020, I had those moments when it was coming to three days in a row. And finally I said nope, I'm just shutting it off. And I'm not going to open it for two, three days. Do that if you have to. And the second thing is, you know, there's a reason why they came up with mutes on TVs, that sort of thing. And another piece of another piece of advice I want to give you if you're getting emails, asking you to sign petitions, because I get those all the time. So many, there's so many of them. One thing you should know that is if you if you answer or participate in like a signing anything, what that winds up doing is being sent to other organizations and stuff so they can add on to that. So you want to be careful about signing petitions and that sort of thing. Because before you know it, there's there's one network in specific that I've had to, you know, unsubscribe from all of them, because once I add I answered a petition for one of their organizations 100 others followed after, right. So therefore,

Becca Lory Hector  
Oh, this person will participate. If we send them things. That's what their computer does, right there. Their algorithms are set to know oh, this person will participate. So let's send them another thing.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, be careful, it gets overwhelming. And quite frankly, no, you don't have to participate in the signing of a petition. Because I guarantee you if you don't already know but once you sign that petition, the next thing you'll be asked for is to donate money.

Becca Lory Hector  
I was just gonna say that. I was just going to talk about money because that's my next fear for our community always is that people take advantage of us financially. And we're already a group of people that are struggling financially. So I want to say is, unless you are, you have enough money that you could take a bath in it and drain it down the bathtub every day, don't give them money, there are plenty of people out there with plenty more money than you that will donate right in with your $5 or $20, or $50 isn't going to impact when people are donating at a $1.1 million at a time. Right? Right. So don't feel like your money is the way to show your solidarity. If you feel like you want to support somebody, I would choose any other way but monetarily. Like go volunteer for that campaign office. If you go right then some emails, make some phone calls, you know, do some campaigning for them, which costs you only your energy and they don't pay you anything and no money exchanges hands. Right. But you're still supporting their work. And so think outside of the box in that way.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. Yeah. And and by all means, if you are being bombarded with emails, go ahead and unsubscribe. Okay, I have had many that I've, I've signed, and then I've subscribed and unsubscribed because, you know, and if, if they give you a little box that says why you just say I'm overwhelmed. So go ahead and answer that, you know, one of the great strengths that Autistics have is that when we're asked a question, we answer them, quite honestly. Use that use that power, use that strength, you know, if they're saying what you say, I'm overwhelmed, you know, no, you know, because, sadly, that bombardment that we experience, it has the potential to drain our compassion to the point where we don't feel anything anymore. That's where I was in the year 2020. Between COVID-1,9 The elections ,and all the other things going on. There was so much grief and trouble and bad news that I got to a place where I can't even feel badly about anything anymore. I can't because, you know, I can't. It's all guys. And it's all there. And it's compacted. And I just can't take on.

Becca Lory Hector  
Here's the other side of how we feel right? Come November 15, though, right? When it's all said and done, and we move almost immediately the media will take us into the holidays, right? Immediately, they will say, okay, all of our election coverage is over, ducked out, we're done. Right? And we're moving on to the holidays, and then it's a new year, and then something else will be happening. Right? emotional journey. That's crazy. It sucks us dry of our energy, and then we're left sort of depleted and they move on. Right. Yeah. So knowing that rather than do end up in December totally depleted, you need to take the time throughout the election year. You don't have to ride the roller coaster that they're setting out for you.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And Becca Lory Hector's coming back into December to talk about managing holiday stress, which and that'll be perfect for when we get there. But yeah, I mean, as far as advocating for yourself, we've already mentioned boundaries. Yes, you need to set your boundaries, you need to look at your strengths, and use them to your advantage. 

Commercial Break

Philip King-Lowe  
Um, well, Becca, our conversations have been marvelous. I really have enjoyed them. I really enjoyed them. Yeah, yeah, I feel like we've given our audience some really good feedback about self-care. And I can tell you, honestly, I am definitely going to be doing this again. But I do want to just mention, you're hearing a lot about this. But in 2023, I'm going to be spending the year talking about our strengths, and achievements. And I think we have to kind of focus in on a lot of those. And that's going to be kind of part of our self-care. Because we are so overwhelmed with medical diagnoses, we're overwhelmed by the pressures of society to make, make certain presumptions on us. And I think, if we can focus on our strengths, and our achievements, about instead of taking these things that most of us most people say, this is weird about you, we say no, this is actually what strengthens me. And this is what helps me to achieve a lot of things. I feel that that is a great way to help flip the script regarding Autistics

Becca Lory Hector  
Cheer each other on when you see other Autistics out there do their best. Putting things out there share their stuff, right?

Philip King-Lowe  
Share their stuff. Yeah, yeah.

Becca Lory Hector  
There is so much space in the world for all of us, we need to occupy that space. So how, you know, like everybody else to get out there. And all these other to get our voices out there, because alone is not a cool thing. It doesn't help you to do much. We do better in groups with large numbers. So you know, help is really important in our community.

Philip King-Lowe  
It is. And Becca and I can both both tell you quite quite honestly, if you're looking for other Autistics with whom you can converse, positively. get some great energy from them. Go on LinkedIn. I you know, I am just, I continue to be overwhelmed in a good way. I have found so many very well informed very exciting people who are just sharing information and, and sharing everythings from surveys, to podcasts, to events and just it's just that fantastic. And there's a lot of folks on there, Autistics who are professionals or some who are just, they just want the community they want to interact. Do it because boy, I have just I cannot say enough. How energizing I find that. 

Becca Lory Hector  
I agree, it's the landscape has changed on LinkedIn. There are a lot more of us that are open out while being professional at the same time and while having these higher level conversations and I, while I do really enjoy it.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, me too. Me too. So I'm Becca, thank you so much for being here again and my, the information about your website will be on mine and and in there is some information about how to contact Becca, if you want to get get in touch with her. But once again, lastly, you know, thank you again for this wonderful summer of sharing this information.

Becca Lory Hector  
I was really it's been a pleasure and I'm excited to come back in December so I'll see you then.

Philip King-Lowe  
Absolutely.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai