Autistic Adults and Our Diverse Gender Identities

Autistic Adults: Our Diverse Gender Identities

June 21, 2021

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Welcome everyone to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by An Autistic Adult. My name is Philip King-Lowe, the owner, producer, and host; and I am an Autistic Adult.  Thank you so very much for listening.

This first segment of Today’s Autistic Moment is sponsored by The Autism Society of Minnesota: Minnesota’s First Autism Resource.  The Autism Society of Minnesota has been serving Minnesota’s Autism Community for the past 50 Years. Visit them online at ausm.org.

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 My identity is that I am Autistic.  Autism is my wiring in good working order. Being Autistic is not a burden for me.  Autism is my gift.  Being Autistic is my life.  I don’t need my Autism to be “fixed” or “cured.”  What people view as “normal” is what needs to be cured. 

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Today’s Autistic Moment continues our celebration of Pride month 2021 with this episode Autistic Adults: Our Diverse Gender Identities.  Gender is a topic that has captivated human beings throughout history.  Gender is fundamental to who we are, what is expected of us, and unfortunately what rights and privileges we do or do not get and whether or not those rights are protected.   In addition to the issue of gender there is race, sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, religion, language, and disability.  These are not the only parts of our human existence about which our human rights are socially and politically vulnerable.  Sadly, human history is full of examples of what happens when what makes one group of people different from an alternative group of people, becomes the industrial and political capital for one majority to stigmatize and marginalize any minority.  Autistic transgender and non-binary individuals are part of our celebration of LGBTQIA+ Pride month.   There is a great ocean, if you will, of wonders to be discovered in the neurodiversity of people who are not of the gender they were assigned at birth.  The only way we can better come upon those wonders is to listen to the stories of Autistic transgender or non-binary individuals without any value judgements on our part.

Enzi Tanner is a recently diagnosed Autistic Adult.  Enzi is transgender, black, queer, and Jewish.  Enzi is a licensed social worker and community organizer.  Enzi has been a strong advocate for the human rights for people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals and other minority groups.  I am so excited to have Enzi Tanner as my guest today.

After this first commercial break, I will begin my interview with Enzi Tanner.  Stay tuned.

Commercial Break I

Philip King-Lowe  
Enzi Tanner, thank you so much for being on this episode of Today's Autistic Moment. I am so very grateful to have you here. 

Enzi Tanner
Thank you, I'm happy to be here. Very happy. 

Philip King-Lowe
Thank you. Thank you. Um, I am particularly happy to have you as we are celebrating Pride Month in June 2021. And I'm, I'm so excited because I want to talk about our diverse genders. Um, as we were talking before we started the interview, I have noticed that whenever I've been either online or in meetings or among other Autistics that there seems to be a lot of Autistics who are identifying as transgender, or nonbinary, gender queer, and other such things. And as I've said, in many of my announcements leading up to this, you are an individual that crosses many differences. There's your neuro diverse, your neurodiversity, there's your race, there's your religious, you know, all you cross all of those differences. And so I am really honored to have you on this episode, because I really want the Autistic community and those who are who are not Autistic, to really hear some of what you have to say, with regards to this topic of transgender and even race and of course, neurodiversity. And so having said all that, um, I really am going to appreciate as will my listeners appreciate what you have to share today. So I want to begin with, what important information do Autistic Adults and our caregivers need to know about when it comes to our diverse gender identities? And please feel free to share some of your thoughts as to what your journey has been. In this time for you, because you were just diagnosed as an Autistic, right?

Enzi Tanner  
Yes. The evaluation was May 20. So the professional diagnosis came May 26. And that's such a great question. What what are some of the things that that that Adult Autistics, our caregivers should know about diverse gender identities? Because I haven't had much time to think about that question. And I saw it when you said it, right. But typically, I tried it, I've thought about questions like this my whole life. And this whole Autistic thing is very new to me. Even though it makes perfect sense. Right? So but what I will say is, is really, when I think about my journey particularly, it's fascinating,  We often have the narrative of or hear the story that trans people often don't feel at home in their bodies. And for me, that was never the case. Always felt odd, or different or strange and I can never put my finger onto it. At one point I was like, oh, maybe it's cuz I had a different upbringing. I was been raised by my dad and my mom wasn't there. That wasn't the case for most kids in my community. Or, you know, I thought it was because I was a lesbian. And then I thought that I wasn't a lesbian and that I was trans. And then I was like, No, this is what I thought was because I was gay. Think it's now because I'm Autistic. But thinking through the ability to be home, in your own body. To be home, in your own mind is very difficult in a society that tells you that your mind is broken. And a society that tells you that your body is broken. It's really difficult. And so the biggest thing that I will say wanting caregivers is love. And total acceptance. And total acceptance really isn't dependent upon any behaviors of anyone. It means total acceptance. And allowing people to be themselves. I have young people in my life that's been in my life for a while, who, when they were little identified as trans, and wasn't sure. And I was like, yo, be you, I'm gonna respect and support you no matter what. And when they got older, I said, Actually, I think that's not who I am. I was like, cool, be you. That's a part of that I say that to say is that quality is also allowing folks to figure it out and to be and who they're like to be themselves and to be who they are. If that that makes sense?

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, I think it does. So you've recently learned that you are Autistic, but so I get the feeling that you probably had wondered about that for quite a long time, too. And would you share with what that might have has like for you? And if you've if you're able to talk with me about about how that has been? How you've been working with that, in light of your gender diversity?

Enzi Tanner  
Yeah, yeah. So I, I will say that I, I didn't think that I was possibly Autistic for a long time. But it's, it's fascinating, my a friend of mine, I'm actually playing this now. And I think it's actually a part of my Autism that as soon as I figure something out, I like go head in, especially my my identity to figure it out as much as I can to confirm who I am. So I used so I was diagnosed in 2011, 2012, with nonverbal learning disability. And so I used to, especially because I didn't know, it's a shame, I was a mental health case manager at the time, but I didn't know much about the Autism Spectrum. And so I foolishly thought of it as a spectrum, the way we think of gender as a spectrum as an from one end to the next, as opposed to something else. So I used to joke and let well joke because I felt off. And so I was like I bump up against the spectrum. But I'm not Autistic, it's just not possible. And so for me, it was I just never never thought about it. A friend of mine when I came out on Facebook as Autistic, said, Oh, I thought you knew that. And I just thought it was or wasn't, that you just didn't tell people. Which, which was fascinating. So I'm like, I'm an open book. That is something that I don't know if I would hide, but, but also, it was one of those things that I was like, I wish that you mentioned that. Because I just I didn't know, I have a nephew who is Autistic. I'll say that. And then I have little people in my life, who aren't so little, but, who are getting older and older. But it just never never crossed my mind. And I think part of the gender identity piece over were related to it is well, one of the parallel story I was saying that I knew nothing about trans anything up until I was maybe 20 something. I was out of. I went to I used to be an evangelical Christian. I went to Southern Baptists undergrad. And I did ex gay stuff. And so I was involved in reparative and ex gay programming.  And so I didn't just didn't know anything about trans anything. But as soon as I was found out about trans, I was like, Oh, oh this is why this is exactly who I am. And I I started doing research.  And eventually, within months changed my name. Because it was one of those things where once I figured out it's definite. And so with being Autistic and with even an agenda was like, one of those. Let me say this, I think, I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't know that I will be trans if I wasn't Autistic. I think I recently heard that term of RT gender, which refers to how your Autism impacts the way you understand your gender. And that really resonated with me, it's not the same as a gender identity. But it resonated a lot with me, because, for me, particularly around most of who I am, I don't know if that would be the case without being Autistic. With becoming Jewish, becoming Jewish was a very long process. Judaism is not just a legend. It's much more complex than that. But it's also a year of study. And I was involved in the synagogue and hadn't thought that it was even like just hadn't crossed my mind. And then as soon as it crossed my mind, about becoming Jewish, I like, dug straight into that. And it became a special interest of mine. And so I'm mindful that the trans person that I am, the queer person that I am, the Jewish person, so much of who I am, is mixed up in being Autistic. Because of the way I really dig deep into it in researched, researched, I mean, I do gender diversity and gender inclusion trainings, because of the passion of people being able to be accepted.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah. Yeah, those are, those are great answers. And if I may interject a little bit with my own personal stories here. I too, have spent some time as a conservative Christian, most conservative Catholic even. And I involve myself in a Catholic ex gay group at one point in time, so I totally identify with that what that journey can be like, um,

Enzi Tanner
I will, I will name this, we don't have to process this now. But I've processed it and often thought of wondered how many Autistics have went through on their own decision to go through reparative ex gay programming? Yeah. Yeah, I've constantly thought about that.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, well, yeah, well, one of the things that has been discussed by some is that the entire coming out process, whether it's about sexual orientation, or gender identity, is very similar to what coming out as Autistic can be like. They're actually quite similar for for many, because there's this beginning this this point in which we understand ourselves. And then there's that part of which we want to begin to change ourselves. And there's that, that other piece that starts struggling with how difficult that change is, and has to work on discerning how quickly or slowly, we make that change because of how we do or do not work well with our routine change. Um, you know, and as long as we're here, let's, let's take this into my second question, which is always one of the barriers for Autistic Adults in all ages? And we're talking about some barriers about coming out. Um, I have heard it said, and perhaps you can reflect on this and maybe share some of your thoughts about this. But, um, I know of one individual who made the transition from male to female. And she talks about how she always started herself as to be the perfect you know, to be the perfect husband and father, and to make that transition to becoming a woman has been, you know, that transition to changing your gender to a woman has meant a change in that shift of thinking. And that has been a great deal of his difficulty with his transitioning, um, maybe talk a little bit about what those if those barriers have been part of you or what you understand about barriers like that.

Enzi Tanner 
Yeah, I mean, for me, those haven't been barriers for me. I you know, when it comes to trying to figure it out, because I'm, yeah, no, thank you. Um, for me when it comes to coming out, and barriers of coming out  I. I never want so. So I'll say this, I never wanted to be a mom. Never I just never crossed my mind. I, I yeah.  And so I also always wanted to be a parent.  And for me, I'm also I spend most of my life trying to figure out who I am. Maybe this is this piece of, maybe I figured out this piece. But oftentimes what happens is when I figure out what that is, I get overly excited. And go into it. Now. Is that always smart? I don't know. Is that always safe? No. I've been in situations that that I'm very much aware of. That the way my brain is wired around, even though I like that thirds. So for example, there's grief when I had had top surgery. And so when I had a double mastectomy, I had grief over losing my chest. And I hated it. I hated being a triple D, that was a very painful thing. And I was small. And, and I still had grief. And it's been 13 years. And every once a while I'm like, Huh, I don't regret any of it. And I don't even know, it's like you get grief over breaking up with an abusive partner. It is a part of who we are and how we're wired. And so I won't name that with fat. You know, there was grief, maybe around what could and what couldn't be. But really, as far as I was named, as far as barriers, at least, for me, and this was really more recently, barriers, even. I also have ADHD. So I'm gonna name that.  I have a really hard time with remembering to take my shots for testosterone. And, I mean, I've been under special for 13 years. And so there was years where I just didn't take my shots, because I couldn't remember to take them. And now I'm on a different type of shot that is only once every two weeks. And even that was a barrier. Because up until today, well, one other time, every time I get my shot is very painful in pain. For days. I figured I was supposed to be able to stand up. But I don't have the capacity to advocate for myself at the doctor's. It's extremely difficult. But because of my diagnosis and after talking, well, she adjusted it before that, but when I told her, I thought I was Autistic, she added in my notes for things that needed to be done, which was really important for doctors to be able to adjust, and to make sure that they're able to advocate for you with their nurses when they're not present is huge. And just really finding access to community is can be difficult, and can be challenging. And I wonder if perhaps even challenging for trans Autistics to even, especially those of us who might, who who found out later in life that were Autistic. And for me, particularly those folks who maybe were in a very more conservative area or background, being connected with not seeing trans people, that I mean, at that time, there wasn't really trans people. There wasn't trans people on TV in the 90s and early 2000s really.  And so, for me, there was no way for me to know that you know, what's out there? I didn't have friends. I didn't think about I didn't realize that that was you know that people have friends, but I just so yeah, I don't want to ramble about that. But for me, there's this for me, there's always been a Who am I? How do I figure that out? And so, in that possible, it's always been just going really hard at figuring out what that is. And it has is it has its repercussions. Because me saying I'm unapologetically me that also sometimes it causes harm to people. Not Not intentionally. I have a twin and she loves me to death now. But maybe in trans is one of the hardest things for her originally. Now it's you know, it's it's not a problem.

Commercial Break II

Public Service Announcement

The 4^th of July is coming up in a few weeks.  July 4^th isn’t the best day for many Autistics and other neurodivergent people, and individuals with PTSD because of the fireworks.  The sound of fireworks can be a terrible trigger for the auditory sensory processing needs of many Autistics.  If you are affected by the sound of fireworks, wear your noise cancelling headphones to decrease the volume of fireworks noise, and/or find a safe space where you can fidget or do something to distract you.  If you are a caregiver of an Autistic person of any age who is affected by such sounds, please do not make them attend the fireworks as the brightness of the lights and the loud noise from them can have serious repercussions.  Let them wear noise cancelling headphones without saying negative things to your Autistic individuals who react to these sounds.  They are not pretending, nor do they need to be made to feel they are doing something wrong. 

Philip King-Lowe  
Um, since you've been diagnosed with your Autism, do you feel like some things that you may have wondered about in your history have finally made sense?

Enzi Tanner  
Some of it, yeah. And some of it?  Yeah, I mean, a lot of it has. And some of it, I haven't even had much time to process through it. I'm a part of a lot of leadership groups. And so actually, the way I found out that I was Autistic was I had a, actually, I'll say that the murder of George Floyd is what put me on this journey, slash the pandemic. But, I am able to look back now, at last year of noticing that I was I had a major burnout. And I'm a social worker. And so I'm used to thinking of burnout as just one right now. But I'm able to pinpoint that, like, I took two months off of work. I ended up just like, exhausted, and not able to do much. And I'm able to pinpoint that, oh, that's what was happening. But I'm in a fellowship with with other disabled Jews who are community organizers. And those are trans and another trans Autistic person of color. And being in the group of them, it was after I had like a major meltdown, that might had a meltdown on the phone with my therapist. And she thought it was a, she acknowledged it as a sensory overload. And she thought it was a, I have fibromyalgia. So she thought it was related to fibromyalgia. But being in this fellowship with these other folks, I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is the first time I've actually have seen myself and other people have actually understood things differently. And so I see others say, I was in this not the same fellowship, I was in another fellowship. I got my official diagnosis on the 26th, the opening retreat for this leadership was on the 26th. That's why I just have not even stopped, in process a ton of things. And have made sense of some of the relationships that I've lost and have understand things a little differently. I know, I still put my clothes on backwards, sometimes. And I used to be really frustrated about that. And now I'm just like, this just is what it is.

Philip King-Lowe  
Once again, those are really some really great answers. I appreciate your talking about that. Maybe talk a little bit about what some of your challenges may be with, there's the Autism and being transgender, but let's also just talk about some barriers that may be intersecting with the fact that you're, you're a person of color. Talk a little bit about that, please, if you feel if you feel okay with that,

Enzi Tanner  
Yeah, no, no. So you know, I have a new podcast that I just started on intersectionality. Because I often think about the ways in which all of who I am is intersecting. For me, being a whole person is so important. And so for me, you know, it's it's fascinating and challenging and beautiful at the same time. I am in so many different communities that oftentimes are isolated. And so one of the things for me, and partially I think it's now I think I'm understanding it's probably related to my Autism. But when I, I get really frustrated at several things, but one of the challenges for me is because I'm in so I mean, I'm in so many different worlds, I'm able to see things that folks would not normally otherwise, see. So oftentimes, we hear people say, if we were any other group, this will not happen to us. Replace the group with whatever you want to replace it with. And so one of the challenges for me, especially because I have this huge sense of justice and truth, and when people say things that are just really simply able to be explained, just as hard for me. And so for me, I will say one of the challenges is, I think it's really easy for for one of the challenges is pinpointing what's happening, I think is what I'm trying to say. When, when Kimberly Crenshaw coined the phrase intersectionality, it was a legal term to talk about the ways in which her clients who were black women couldn't identify a lawsuit around racism and sexism and the judge that the white women did not experience this type of sexism, therefore, it's not sexism. And the black man didn't experience this or it's not racism. So intersectionality talks about, like, how it like, the unique experiences of marginalized identities. And so for me, I'm oftentimes have have stopped trying to say like, is it because of this? Is it because of that? Why is this happening? And have more of wanted to? I forgot my train of thought.

Philip King-Lowe  
Take your time.

Enzi Tanner  
Um, can you remind me of the question I'm answering?

Philip King-Lowe
Sure. Yeah, we're talking about barriers. And in particular, I was asking you regards to the barriers of the intersectionality that you're talking about, you know, transgender, as well as being a person of color. And of course, your religious background. You've been talking about those a little bit. But yeah, go ahead. 

Enzi Tanner
So So yeah, so one of the biggest things is particularly as a, you know, so as a black person, and I do so I will name that. And BIPOC space was it's, it's, it's oftentimes fascinating, because anti blackness is so intense, oftentimes in many spaces. But also, or, and various things where as a trans person, I didn't need those where when I was taking to social I needed. When I was given my own shots, I needed needles and access to certain things. Folks who are black, are often accused or assumed to be drug addicts, or users, more often than not. As an Autistic person, now I understand. I have a hard time identifying my feelings, my emotions, naming what's happening. And so one of the things that I, especially as with fibromyalgia, I've had a hard time with, with not being believed.  I had a hard time with trying to access the basic support needed to access particularly as a person whose female bodied, partially female bodied person who is in his black body, who doesn't know how to advocate really, clearly for myself. And it's, it's all of these pieces together, that makes me. And then you add the piece of like, I don't see myself as I used to be extremely skinny, extremely, like accused of being anorexic, and just just small. And so on that end, it was often dismissed from the doctors, because it was like you just needed to gain weight. Or this is that. And then on the other end, other doctors dismiss in pain and everything else because of weight. Of being, have been, quote unquote, "too large" and so our system is so flawed, so many ways. That for me, there are so many barriers, I think. And so for me, I find myself asking, How do I just ignore them? If I can.

Philip King-Lowe
Yeah, well, yeah, I don't think I don't think barriers can be, can really be ignored. I think they have to be worked with as best as we can. And, you know, I have found that, as I learned more about being Autistic, then I gained some sense as to how to work through others. But that's been my experience. Um, the last question is going to be kind of interesting because of what you've been talking about advocating. And, as always, what are some steps that Autistic Adults and our supporters need to take to advocate for our needs? And, you know, like I said, you've been talking about how that has been difficult for you. And so, before I interject and talk about that a little bit more, um, are there any ways that you have discovered of how to advocate for yourself that you have found to be successful, or have been helpful? And other ways that maybe has have not been? I know that you've done some advocating work with Outfront Minnesota. I believe I've seen that somewhere in your profiles, and I know the people over it Out front Minnesota very well. So, can you talk a little bit about some of your experiences about advocating and maybe some ideas that you might want to share?

Enzi Tanner  
Um, one of the things about advocating that's hilarious to me is, I'm a licensed social worker. I was a youth advocate for a long time, I'm really good at advocating for other people really great at it. Whatever I figured out for myself, I have not figured it out too well. It is a challenge. Um, so the biggest thing that I found, for me, is having people who I trust and support and who I trust and who I know, support me, that will be willing to advocate for me, when needed. I even when taking my current job as a community organizer, it was really important for me, there, my Rabbi was in constant communication with me to make sure that I had the emotional support needed. Also to make sure that someone is paying attention and watching out and so like, she advocates for me in times where I don't know that I need to be advocated for.  And so for me, I think really what it is, is community. And not I that's one of the places I have immense privilege in. I have have community that cares about me and loves me, and perhaps that's part of the being a you know, I haven't been I used to do I'm on the periphery of so many different groups, and have just, I guess, butterflied around or whatever, but my my community are the ones who, who asked me that I'm trying to figure out more, I think as I learn more, and as I understand what's happening. I've lost a lot of jobs. And so like, I'm thinking now, like, really? How do I advocate for myself? Once I know what's good and what's right for me to, to operate with.

Philip King-Lowe
Right!

Commercial Break  III

Future Shows

Today’s Autistic Moment continues our first summer season with some exciting episodes coming up.

On July 5^th, Autistic Adults and Financial Planning with my guest Andrew Komarow, the founder and owner of Planning Across the Spectrum financial planning services.  Andrew is an Autistic diagnosed in his adult years.  Andrew will talk about what financial planning is and give some expert advice for Autistics who find financial planning so confusing.

On July 19^th, Autistic Adults: Media Portrayal or Betrayal?  Nicola Whiting is my guest to talk about the mixed reactions Autistic Adults have when responding to how we are portrayed in the media.  Many Autistics feel that the media allows neurotypicals to further stereotype and marginalize Autistics. Nicola and I will discuss these and other issues for Autistics and the media. 

On August 9^th Lyric Holmans will be my guest on the episode Autistic Adults and Gaslighting.  Lyric is an Autistic Adult known as the NeuroDivergent Rebel.  According to Jeanette Perkis in her book Autism Books & Other Things, “Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you question your beliefs and reality and essentially question your sanity.  It is a nasty form of aggression and a common weapon of abusers and narcissists.”  Lyric and I will talk more about what gaslighting is, how Autistics can recognize it, and self-advocate to help stop it.

Unfortunately, Dr. Theresa Regan is not able to join me for the show previously planned for August 23^rd.  Dr. Regan will be my guest in a future show about Autistic Adults and Communicating with Medical Professionals. 

However, you will not want to miss the show on August 23^rd, because Zephyr James from The Autism Society of Minnesota will join me to talk about Autistic Adults and Interdependence.  Interdependence in its simplest definition is “the fact of depending on each other.”  Zephyr is AuSM’s Community Engagement Manager who is undertaking this new project. 

Philip King-Lowe  
Well, um, if you've listened to other episodes, you know that my recommendations for self advocacy is and you just kind of started on this journey for yourself, but is to become the expert about your Autism, your own brand, make and model. Because when you know, your Autism as well as you do, then you know what it is you're advocating for.  And number two, that you become the expert about explaining or talking about your particular brand, make and model of Autism.  And then the third part that I always name is how important it is that you and other Autistics of varied gender identities, sexual orientations, wherever you come from in this neurodiversity, in your race, in your, in your life, your work, whatever it is that you tell your stories about what being Autistic means for you. And storytelling is the kind of thing that happens, not just by, you know, talking about a particular example of how of something but also as you fidget, as you, you know, go through those moments when it's difficult to advocate for your doctor with your, with your doctor, or those times when it's when you're trying to advocate for yourself with an employer or trying to advocate for yourself or talk about your experiences with family and friends and other Autistics. That's part of how Autistic Adults tell our stories. And that's part of self advocacy. Um, you know, the other thing that I would share with you and with many other others who are listening is that there is a fantastic network that I and I want to suggest to many of you. It's called the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network. It is an it is an online group of people who talk about women's issues and also about transgender, especially for nonbinary individuals. One of the speakers or individuals connected through them is Lydia Brown. And they are a fantastic speaker, about the subjects of race and sexual orientation as well as Autism. You know, Lydia is just just amazing. And so part of self advocacy is also networking with other Autistics across the board who are part of experiences similar. Um, so, um, and I can also tell you that the Autistic community, on LinkedIn, for example, as well as on Twitter, where there's a lot of transgender as well as nonbinary is quite big, is a really big community, there are big communities there that are interacting. Um, so that would be those would be my suggestions for you and for other Autistics. You know, and I've also been talking quite a bit about how that word queer has really been becoming used by many. Can you talk a little bit about for me what the word queer means for you of how does? How do you identify with that word?

Enzi Tanner  
Yeah, I identify as queer. I've been identifying that for a very long time I was raised by southerners. I'm not from the south people. People in Minnesota identify Missouri as the south, but really, it's not. But I I definitely identify as queer. And for me, it's, it's a more expansive term. It's also a political term. It's not just it's not just about who I love, and how I love and how to do other things. It's also about political analysis. For me, the way in which I look at queer liberation. It is for me personally, especially for me, it's rooted in understanding Stonewall and the pride movement, as an uprising, as a rebellion. And so it's also a little bit about reclaiming. I remember. I've done lots of activism, and about in 2008 and 2009. I was traveling around down south that I did there, this thing called the Equality Ride. And I remember what what's.. So I remember people, people yelled at us lots of really, it was I was doing nonviolent civil disobedience. I was put in jail during that time as well for active it was. I was advocating for LGBTQ plus queer students on college campuses, they couldn't get the campuses had policies that didn't allow them to attend. Or they had to do reparative therapy if they did. And so remember, one of those times when people was yelling at us and calling us all kinds of names. And the one word when they telling us they're queer, I remember we all laughed, I'm like, you finally got one correct. Which is interesting, because there are some spaces where at my age is a very, that time is a very mixed term, right? It's one of those things where some folks like, right above my age, it's like, this is really, really hard. And I've seen folks older than me who's like, Nope. I'm embracing it. This is this is who I am. But it's one of those times where I will say particularly, especially for folks who are not queer identify are not a part of the LGBTQ plus community. So to follow the lead of other people that you're in community with, when it comes to that time of queer because, for me, for example, I identify as a black American, I'm totally okay with being identified as black, and some folks may not be okay with that. And so likewise, with queer, I am queer, I identify as queer. And it's such a hard term, but because it's also have a complex history and a traumatic history. I, for me, it's important for folks not to not just call people queer, and when not to use that term and that's, that's the community that you're in? And are you following the lead of people in that community that you're with at that time.

Philip King-Lowe  
Yeah, that's a great piece of advice. I was myself was born in 1969. And and for me that that particular term has, has usually been used derogatorily. So, I respect everybody who uses that term. I personally prefer not to use it towards myself anyway. Um, but anyway, but yes, those are really great answers. Well, Enzi this has been a really great conversation today, I think that you have definitely shared a wealth of information that our listeners will definitely appreciate and take to heart. So I want to know, I want to, in addition to thanking you on what congratulate you on, on being diagnosed and beginning that journey for yourself, and I think that over time, you are, you will learn some things about yourself that you probably never quite understood, but they'll finally make sense a little bit. And I'm hoping that that journey will really help you gain a new sense of self that you never thought you could have. So, I hope that Yeah, so. So thank you so much for being on today. 

Enzi Tanner
Thank you. Thank you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai 

Today’s Autistic Community Bulletin Board

On July 15^th from 3pm to 7pm The Multicultural Autism Network (MAAN) and The Autism Society of Minnesota are partnering with Hennepin Healthcare to offer a FREE Sensory-friendly COVID-19 vaccine clinic for ages 12 and up at the Autism Society of Minnesota’s office, located at 2380 Wycliff St. Suite 201 in St. Paul, MN 55114.  The Pfizer 2 dose vaccine for ages 12 and up and the single dose Johnson & Johnson vaccine will be available. Oromo, Somali, and Spanish interpreters will be available at the clinic. Go to ausm.org to make an appointment.

Join The Autism Society of Minnesota for an Online Weekend Challenge July 17-18, 2021.  You are invited to participate in this second annual Community Unity Challenge.  Connect with friends and family.  Get creative.  Share kindness.  All while having some quirky, scavenger-hunt-type of fun.

The Autism Society of Minnesota is seeking speakers for the 4^th Annual Autistic Community Summit, an event by Autistics for Autistics.  Share your expertise on Autistic identity, community and supports in a one-hour breakout session.  See the full application form at ausm.org.

If you have any questions for me, please send an email to PKLowe@todaysautisticmoent.com  todaysautisticmoment@gmail.com Please follow Today’s Autistic Moment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIN.  

Thank you for listening to Today’s Autistic Moment: A Podcast for Autistic Adults by An Autistic Adult.